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‘I Pee Awesome!’

August 29th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Uncategorized  |  4 Comments

It was not much more than a week ago that I lamented Sasha’s slow toilet training, enumerating the many, many places she has managed to pee (e.g., on her bike seat, on a cafe chair) while marveling at the sole instance of her actually pissing in a toilet in front of me.

Well, much has changed since then, my friends, much has changed. For three afternoons after that first miraculous micturation, Sasha peed on the classroom potty before we went home. Wonderful, but still within the normal range of her behavior.

At the beginning of last week, however, I drove Sasha up to Connecticut for an extended stay with my parents, and almost immediately she began demanding to pee in the potty. And then, amazing to behold, she’d actually pee in said potty. Again and again this happened, as many as five or six times a day. Some were gushers, others were trickles, but all took place at her command (or, okay, occasionally, her assent). “Daddy, I need to peepee!” is a phrase often heard around this house. Once, when I was busy, I even instructed her to go find Grandpa for help, and she did so.

It’s just fucking incredible, that’s my point. One day, not too long ago, she was like a wild retarded animal, befouling herself uncontrollably, and then, out of nowhere, she decided to civilize herself, to walk upright and pee sitting down. What happened in there? What mental switch was thrown? And why did everything else (peer pressure, parental pressure, teacher pressure) fail? (Or did it somehow really succeed?) How does this all happen?

Of course, there is a downside to this: Sasha has already learned that requesting assistance with the potty is a great way to get my attention. So, even when she doesn’t need to pee that bad, if she’s feeling neglected, either because I’m talking to a grown-up or cooking or blogging or something, she’ll demand a pointless trip to the toilet, where, after squeeze out a few drips, wipe up, and happily declare, “I pee awesome!” And though I can see through her charade, I have to admit: She’s right.


  1. Tim says:

    August 29th, 2011at 1:16 pm(#)

    Not that becoming potty-trained isn’t awesome*, but to me reading is the ultimate WTF developmental accomplishment. I know that there’s a long pre-reading process and it’s not really as if a light switch is being flicked on, but the upshot is that one day your kid isn’t reading and the next she is. It’s wild and wacky, I’m telling ya.

    * there are many of these types of milestones to look forward to and savor: total potty training (dry at night, pees/poops/wipes/flushes/washes independently and competently), ownership of a dental routine, and the granddaddy of them all, when the child can bathe/shower by himself. You can’t put a price on having that extra 20-30 min of free time every night.

  2. TechyDad says:

    August 29th, 2011at 2:24 pm(#)

    Watch out. They’ll also use the potty to get out of situations they don’t like. NHL did it at my brother-in-law’s wedding. As they rabbi was talking, he shouted out very loudly: “I GOTTA GO POTTY!!!” I led him out (from the front row) as the rabbi joked “Well, when you gotta go you gotta go!”

    We get to the restroom and NHL revealed that he really didn’t need to go so we went back into the wedding. Literally, two seconds after we sat in the back… “I GOTTA GO POTTY!!!” He, again, revealed that he didn’t have to go when we got out. So I gave in and missed the rest of the wedding while NHL played in the hallways outside of where the service was taking place.

    My wife later commented that, had I taken him back in again, there would have been a wedding AND a divorce.

  3. Dadboost.com says:

    August 30th, 2011at 6:16 am(#)

    That’s so funny and so true. Potty training has to be the strangest thing to learn. When I was a kid, if I used the potty properly, I would get a sticker to put on the side of the potty, like some kind of badge of honor or something!

    Some kids take ages to learn though. They seem to manage to get poop everywhere APART from the potty!

  4. Matt says:

    August 31st, 2011at 8:01 pm(#)

    @Tim: I’m a little scared about when Sasha starts reading. Then she’ll be able to see what I do for a living! Er, make that “living.”

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