A week doesn’t seem a long time, until you consider how incredibly freaking fast these DadWagon kids are changing. It’s white-knuckle business, raising children. One moment you’re like Christopher, astounded that the baby played alone for 10 minutes, and in a breath, you’re already in Theodore’s shoes, contemplating the fact that your child, who can’t yet properly wipe his own ass, is about to take a standardized test for next year’s school. No wonder then that Matt, whose daughter only started needing shoes a short while ago, is already wondering what the hell to do for sex education.

But if we feel like our kids are growing up too fast, then we’re also somewhat to blame for it. Nathan is too busy watching Bob Saget TwitVids, feeding his kids mystery meat, and exposing them to Tea Party politicians. Matt simply ditched to China–giving us a DadWagon post with a dateline from the Hong Kong Airport! Theodore, instead of spending quality time watching Old Spice Sesame Street with his kid, was cursing at a car seat he couldn’t install and sweating the pending C-section delivery of his breechy daughter.

Oh, there were some mothers this week.  Christopher’s baby-mama returned (with the baby, thankfully) Theodore’s mom was called a scumbag and Nathan pumped the BedStuy kid-rap “Stop Looking at my Moms.”

But mainly it was just dads doing what they do: missing time with their kids, thinking about French women.