A Week on the Wagon: the game we all can play

confusion

Loyal reader(s),

Your four earnest and diligent Dadwagoners are, in a way, dinosaurs from a different era, an era of print, of publications read front to back, of stories (now known as content) sandwiched in between an archaic form of capitalist death ritual known as the advertisement. Ludditic relics of an earlier age we four were trained to expect a certain form of coherence from our media outlets, which is the term all the hip kids now use instead of publications, and when we set out to create this site, our primary goal–other than racking up big, heaping pots of steaming cash–was to translate that commitment to polished, old-school editorial coherence onto the Interwebs.

We failed. We failed big time, we failed without really making an effort to succeed, we failed because Matt was too busy getting drunk and sleeping in Sasha’s crib, because Christopher thought this was supposed to be a “happy blog” with happy stories, because Nathan was too busy “reporting the news” to remember to write about his children, and yes, yes, yes, because my raging, near-insane screeds against anyone I’ve ever met (minus JP) allowed no room for the folks at home to play along.

To prove my point, I am going to present you this week’s material as links, without context, without explanation or an attempt at linear progression. I am going to give you the Internet, folks, because now that we’ve embraced the suck, we are going to have to start rolling in it.

Matt: Soviet children’s literature, alien babies, shit other children broke, the utter meaninglessness of existence, kill the environment!, babies are sociopaths and so is everyone’s mother

Christopher: stop molesting my boy, creepy New Yorkers, fat baby, not fatburger (don’t touch my pickle), fatherhood has sucked out my brain, the Times is riding my jock, I love my Mommy and my wife

Nathan: Fuck China!, Kill baby food, kill, kill!, the anti-grammarian, I am a bad father because I let my daughter touch a frog

Theodore: Happy hate, healthy lies, screaming, conceptual art and screaming

Happy clicking.

Theodore

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About Theodore

Theodore Ross is an editor of Harper’s Magazine. His writing has appeared in Harper’s, Saveur, Tin House, the Mississippi Review, and (of course), the Vietnam News. He grew up in New York City by way of Gulfport, MS, and as a teen played the evil Nazi, Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. He lives with his son, J.P. in Brooklyn, and is currently working on a book about Crypto-Jews.

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