• Dadwagon on Facebook
  • Dadwagon on Twitter
  • Dadwagon RSS feed

A Week on the Wagon

February 4th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in A Week on the Wagon

This week marked an end—and therefore a new beginning—for those of us on the ‘wagon. Theodore in particular: Newly laid-off from Harper’s Magazine, he decided to devote himself full-time to parenting, eschewing snark and sarca— Oh, wait, sorry. It didn’t quite happen that way. While he did briefly, earnestly consider whether his children would look down on his lazy, pajama-clad ass, and then pondered having them grow up to become IDF soldiers, he quickly returned to insincere stereotyping (do girls sleep better than boys?) and whingeing about how boring it is to take care of infants.

His curtailed moment of honesty, however, spurred Matt to a bit of self-examination, in which he admitted that, as glamorous as travel-writing is, he might get a job if his wife, Jean, asked him to. Elsewhere, he mused about how fighting with his daughter, Sasha, is like fighting with Jean, then praised Sasha for behaving well for exactly one day. Also, he eagerly awaited a future in which he will be able to play Jedi mind tricks on her.

Apart from his consideration of whether to get a job himself—he claims to be happiest without one–Nathan existed in a particularly (Nathanian?) universe of dreaming babies and reggaetón clowns, a cosmos where Russian mohels circumcise pullovers and there exists one, and only one, appropriate food for breakfast. (Hint: It’s cereal.) Rumor has it he’ll find the wormhole back to our reality sometime over the weekend.

Till Monday, we wish you 新年快樂! Also: Chúc mừng năm mới! In other words: Happy Chinese New Year!

Leave a Response


Recent Comments

  • Dee: As one of the impressed moms there last night, and also because my kid ate 3 bowls of that bolognese, thanks for...
  • Drew Wallner via Facebook: I’m totally making this when we get back from holiday travel, I even just got a...
  • Matt: Whoops! Just put that back in. The recipe editor has been fired.
  • Ed Lilly: Looks great – thanks for posting! One question – you did not specify putting the meat back into...
  • Maks: I’m against baby yoga for sure, but want to say something regarding that author is a little wild about...

DadWagon Reads!


Do you show this to your kids?

AP Images

An unnamed gunman gestures after shooting the Russian Ambassador to Turkey, Andrei Karlov, at a photo gallery in Ankara, Turkey, Monday, Dec. 19, 2016. Turkish police shot and killed the gunman, Turkish station NTV reported. Russia's ambassador to Turkey has died after being shot in Ankara, according to Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman. #APPhoto by Burhan Ozbilici

Story developing: http://apne.ws/2hRY0rH

Dec 19th, 2016 7:32pm • No Comments

"They watch their mothers and fathers overdose and die on the bathroom floor. They live without electricity, food or heat when their parents can’t pay the bills. They stop going to school, and learn to steal and forage to meet their basic needs."

The Children of the Opioid Crisis


Left behind by addict parents, tens of thousands of youngsters flood the nation’s foster-care system; grandparents become moms and dads again

Dec 16th, 2016 2:11pm • No Comments

Don't forget the gift receipt(s)!

A Gift for Every Type of Dad (That You Can Buy on Amazon)


Including cricket-flour protein bars, ice-cold beer chillers, and an air fryer that uses hardly any oil.

Dec 9th, 2016 3:27pm • No Comments

As Ryu Spaeth pointed out, the only thing worse than "Papa" is the pronunciation "paPA." PERISH THE THOUGHT.


“I just think ‘dad’ and ‘mom’ are very Saved by the Bell-ish,” said Will Grose, 36, a Brooklyn father of three boys under the age of 5.

Nov 30th, 2016 5:20pm • 1 Comment