A Week on the Wagon

Another Friday afternoon, another attempt to corral the disjointed meanderings of DadWagon’s editors into a coherent narrative of urban fatherhood. Or, this week, maybe not. As I [that is, the impersonal godlike consciousness called “dadwagon”] look over what we’ve published, I see no theme emerging, nor any anti-theme.

Take Christopher: Happy at pancakes, then comparing himself to a North Korean dictator, then admonishing a rock star for parenting like a rock star. You want insight into that? Sorry.

Theodore came close—Red Hook was his subtext as he encountered his ex at Fairway and (mis)assembled Ikea furniture in his new apartment. Or maybe his theme was exclamation points! Who knows?

Nathan, meanwhile, emerged from his high, drunken stupor—during which he giggled over the Web-video adventures of a SAHD—just long enough to ask the vital question “What is wrong with us?” then threaten to punch parents whose kids wear long words on their onesies. What is wrong with us, indeed.

Finally, Matt relied on everyone else to do the heavy inspirational lifting: When Nathan was drunk, he wrote about how his friends were abstaining. While Theodore built armoires (or whatever), Matt hired plumbers. And when Nathan considered punching parents, Matt threatened to beat up a beloved pediatrician. Lazy fucker. Let’s hope his coming weekend—and yours—is as good as his last one.

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